A Two-In-The-Morning-Friend

I have been without a two-in-the-morning friend for far too long. Now don’t get me wrong—I have lots of friends. I know there are many who care deeply about me, but none are two-in-the-morning friends.  A two-in-the-morning friend is one that you would not hesitate to call in the middle of the night—especially if you had an urgent need. It takes a very close relationship to be a two-in-the-morning friend.

I first realized that I was without a two-in-the-morning friend about fifteen years ago. My husband had many health issues that would frequently send us to the emergency room and then usually also for a hospital stay. One time, when our son, Sam, was about seven, I needed to get my husband to the hospital right away. He was bleeding internally from too much blood thinner. This turned out to be a four-day hospital stint. Seven years old is too young to leave home alone, and there I was—looking at the clock and seeing that it was too late to call any of my friends. I just couldn’t do it. Names of five or six friends immediately came to mind, and had it been 10:00PM, I would not have hesitated to call for help. In fact, just a few weeks before this, we had a rush to the hospital at 11:00PM, and I called someone to help out with Sam without a moment of concern.

It’s another story, however at 2:00AM.

When someone is a two-in-the-morning friend, you know that they would be upset if you DIDN’T call them to be a support. I found myself in a position where I felt like I had no one close enough to me to bother in the middle of the night. I grabbed our son with a blanket and pillow, and drove to the hospital where my husband’s cardiologist worked. It was about a forty-minute drive. Of course, Sam was back to sleep, so I left him in the back seat and locked the doors. I about wore out the walkway between the emergency room station and the parking lot that night to keep checking on our son.  By the time they had determined that my husband needed admitted, a nurse realized that I had a child in the car. She offered to make a bed for him in the ER, but I planned to go home and get Sam ready for school so that I could come back and give my full attention to my husband.  

I was sad that I didn’t have a two-in-the-morning friend, but because I worked sixty hours a week as an elementary principal, I did not have any more time to cultivate the close relationship I desired—a two-in-the-morning friend.

That was a pretty good excuse while I working full-time, however, I have been retired for over two years now. I still do not have a two-in-the-morning friend.

So I am pondering why this is.

The friends that I have are not retired. They lead very busy lives, and some of them still have young children at home. We are in different seasons, and I understand why there isn’t time to cultivate a deeper relationship. I truly do.

But, the gaping hole is still there. Here I am, fifteen years later, and still without a two-in-the-morning friend. I have several friends who are very close to my heart, but they have moved a far distance away. So while, they WOULD be a two-in-the-morning friend, if they lived here, it’s not much of a help when I need them in the flesh during the middle of the night.

Some days it feels very lonely.

Some days, it feels very sad.

Now that I have time to build a deeper relationship with someone, I find myself in a place where the right person just hasn’t entered my life yet.

I am still expectantly waiting for my new two-in-the-morning friend. It will be a happy day when that role is filled once again.