An Encouraging Word Makes a Difference

I grew up feeling like I was the “dumbest” one in my family. My oldest brother is an aerospace engineer. He often wears a t-shirt saying, “Actually, I am a Rocket Scientist!” My other brother has a PhD in physics and runs a lithography company. They create computer chips in the Silicon Valley and he spends half his time in Tokyo. This brother received a perfect 800 on his SAT’s prior to entering college.

I followed along, two years later, growing up in a small town with footprints ahead of me too overwhelming to fill. Being the baby, I didn’t even try.

My mother was very proud of her boys, and was actually quite the braggart in regards to their accomplishments.  I overheard her multiple times telling others about their achievements, and sometimes the person would say, “don’t you also have a daughter?”  Quickly, my mother would add, “Oh yes, she’s a wonderful baker. She just won a blue ribbon at the county fair with her cookies.”

Needless to say, these experiences did not help me to see myself as one who could achieve.

During my junior year in High School, my AP (Advanced Placement) History teacher decided that I was not up to par with the rest of my classmates, so she began to seek out my former teachers from my elementary and junior high years.  Most of the teachers she spoke with did not remember me. They did, however, remember my brothers quite well.

I’m sure this teacher meant well, but she took it upon herself to ask me to stay after school to meet with her. Now this was already an issue, since I lived about four miles from the school and would be missing my bus to meet with her. That meant I would have to walk home. It sounded important, and back then, we didn’t argue with those in authority, so I showed up.

Mrs. History Teacher began to tell me, as delicately as she could, that she believed I wasn’t college material. She told me that just because my brothers were academically successful didn’t mean that I had to set myself up to try and follow in their footsteps. She told me I should consider a different path for my future.

Devastated, I trudged the whole four miles home in tears, vowing to do something about my life and not letting Mrs. History Teacher define who I was.

Several years later, I was in an elementary teaching university program that required a field experience at the start of a school year. It is customary for all of a district’s staff to meet with a convocation on the first day back. I was observing in a second grade classroom with a friend’s mother. As we sat in the auditorium together waiting for the superintendent’s first day message, Mrs. History Teacher walked by and said, “Linda, I didn’t expect to ever see you in a school again!” I smiled sweetly, saying, “I guess I will be in schools for the rest of my life now!” I felt empowered, but I still didn’t have an inkling of what was inside of me.

I taught for several years, and then decided to stay home with my children. During that time, I was looking for a way to make a little extra cash. A friend was staying at our house due to some unfortunate life-circumstances, and she had placed an ad in our local newspaper for house cleaning positions, using my phone number as her contact (this was way before cell phones!). Her circumstances improved and she left shortly after, but it was too late. The calls came to my phone number. I hadn’t planned on cleaning houses, but this seemed to be a way to make some cash and still be mostly home with my children.

One of the homes where I cleaned was with an amazing woman. She was indeed the best mentor of my life. This woman had a PhD in nursing, and while retired, her wisdom about every aspect of life continually flowed out of her. After my second week cleaning her home, she asked me why I was cleaning houses. She said she knew that I was destined for so much more. She wondered why I was not pursuing a graduate degree.

Over the weeks, this lovely lady encouraged me to see myself with fresh eyes. I was no longer the “dumbest” one in my family. She saw in me intelligence and potential. Each week, as I dusted and cleaned her home, she continued to pour into me what I needed to take the steps to apply for a graduate program.

The following fall, I was enrolled full-time in a Master’s program. It was there, now at age, twenty-nine, that I began to see myself as something other than dumb. I shared with one of my professors how I grew up being the dumbest one in my family. He laughed and said, “Ya know, if one were to look at the IQ score differences between Albert Einstein and Albert Schweitzer, I am sure that would be a huge difference in those numbers. But really, would we portray Albert Schweitzer as dumb?”

Those words literally changed my life. I now have a PhD in Educational Leadership, and I teach pre-service teachers and principals how to be the best they can be. My experiences have shown me that we cannot put people in boxes with labels. We all have purpose and value, and we don’t live out our destiny by believing other people’s opinions about what we can and cannot do.

I am grateful for my life’s path, because I believe God is using my previous pain and struggles to be the difference in the lives of others. I would have it no other way!