Feelings

Feelings.

Today, I am feeling distant from all that is good.

I don’t feel God’s presence.

I don’t feel a sense of peace.

I don’t feel happy.

I don’t really feel sad, but something just isn’t right.

Off-kilter.

I know that spiritually, the world is in turmoil. Fires, floods, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, murders, drug over doses, deaths. So much anger and hatred all around.

I am sitting and trying to be still, remembering He is God. I am not.

I don’t understand why I feel so alone. I know I am not. I know that the Holy Spirit is with every breath I take. I know that Jesus is as close as my heartbeat. Yet, all around me is angst and unsettledness.

 I have no close friends nearby. My husband is distracted and internally stuck at the moment. When he is like this, he needs his space. Everything I say becomes an argument. I have learned that it is best to be still. I know he won’t stay there long, and so that isn’t an issue, really.

Being still has been a life-long endeavor to learn. I’m nowhere near there yet.  Today, I will stay in prayer until the perfect peace of Jesus replaces my unsettled thoughts.

Today, I will draw closer than ever, because otherwise, I will be swallowed up in current.

Today, I will rest in who I am, but most important, who He is. And I am grateful.