I'm Not There Yet...But I Sure Am Better

As another year is ending, I have been reflecting on personal growth and my spiritual walk.  I am certainly not at all satisfied with either area, but I do know that I am not the same as I was last year.  While far from my goals for becoming more Christ-like, I would like to think I am slower to anger and quicker to love and forgive.  I would like to think that I have asked for less about me and more about others.  I would like to think that I have asked more often to have my Father’s eyes and less about trying to fix things.  I'm not there yet, but I sure am better.

I have been stressed and at peace.  I have been unsettled and I have been comforted.  I have been sad and I have been filled with delight.  I have been exhausted beyond measure and I have been rested and restored.  I have been despondent and I have been thrilled.   I have been overly talkative and I have been introspective.  I have been worried, and I have felt secure.  I have felt need and I have been satisfied.  I have been weak in the flesh and I have been strong in the spirit.  I have been self-absorbed and I have given of myself to others.  I have been self-centered and I have been selfless.  I have been angry and I have been loving.   I have felt defeated and I have felt success.  I have been so consumed that I didn’t notice the weather, and I have reveled at the sight of sunsets and sunrises; stars and rainbows.  I have been consumed by busy-ness and I have been still to hear His voice. 

I have seen so many of those I care about go through loss and pain and I have seen hurting people find joy in placing God at their center.  I have seen struggles and victories.  I have seen death and I have seen new babies just born.  I have shared tears and I have shared laughter with others.  I have been lonely and I have been loved.

When I think about this year of 2013, I know I am not where I want to be… but I sure am better.  I want there to be more of Him and less of me.  I want to relish the good times and to be grateful even when its hard.  I can see that I am definitely more resilient in my thinking and certainly more forgiving of myself when I still mess it up and fall short of the mark.

Bringing in the New Year is framed in hope.  I know I haven't arrived yet, but I sure am better!