Save That Bird

            One night, I had a dream that was a bit unsettling. One reason that it was unsettling was because I had the exact same dream three times.  In my dream, I saw a large bird falling down a mountain and then taking a nose-dive to the ground. I kept screaming, “Someone needs to help that bird!” And each time I heard a deep and loud voice answer me with, “YOU need to help that bird!”  The voice was so penetrating, that I startled awake.  I drifted back to sleep and the same sequence played out again, and then a third time. When I awoke the next day, I couldn’t shake the deep resonance of this dream.

            Two days later, it was Sunday, and our pastor stopped his sermon that morning saying that he needed to share a vivid dream that he’d had during the past week. He told about a large eagle that was flying in an airplane hangar and it took a nose-dive to the ground, causing its beak to become broken and bloody. The pastor said that in his dream, he and his wife were watching and somehow he knew he was supposed to do something to help that eagle. As soon as he said the word “eagle” I realized that the bird in my dream was an eagle as well. I got goose bumps thinking about how strange it was that the pastor and I had almost the same dream.

            While walking out of church that morning, the local VFW across the street displayed a new banner. The picture on the banner was an eagle with Uncle Sam pointing right at our church.  Once again, I realized that something big must be on the brink since both my pastor and I had such startling and similar dreams.

            My husband, Jon is a life purpose coach, and I have been doing some of the work along with him through his advanced training. I wish I could say that I am sure and confident about what I am being called to do to “save that bird.” What I do know, amidst my purpose work, is that I am to be watching and waiting. It is exciting to think about being a part of something so huge as helping an entire nation heal, yet I am humbled beyond belief when I even try to grasp the thought that little ole’ me could do anything so epic. I try to not think about it too much because I find it beyond overwhelming.

 There is nothing I can do on my own, but this I do know—when we are connected to the Almighty, entire nations can turn. Remember Ninevah? Jonah did not even want to do the task he was called to do, and he tried his best to get out of it, even to the point of putting a whole shipload in danger. He didn’t think that the people of Ninevah were worth saving, and he believed they should suffer for their wrong actions. God, however, had other plans, and with just one reluctant prophet’s message, an entire nation repented, turning their hearts to Him.

I am watching and listening with wonder as to how a gal from small town Ohio could be used in such a gigantic way, but frankly, if untrusting and unforgiving Jonah could be God’s plan for an entire nation’s redemption, then I am thinking it really could be anyone.  Even me!

Trusting the Process

I am finding myself in a time of busyness again with subbing and church commitments, and yet this time it is not overwhelming me. I am learning to lean into the Holy Spirit’s leading and waiting for Papa’s directions. I have been told to learn patience and learn to love while in waiting. That has sort of been the easy part. What is not so easy is to slow my brain down and to quit trying to preplan everything. I certainly know by now that nothing I have planned has ever worked out exactly the way I thought it would or even should. After over six decades, one would think it would be figured out by now, although old habits are hard to break. I am learning to be at peace in the waiting, and I understand that this is simply just trusting the process. It’s all good!

Called to Discomfort

 I like my comfort zone. I think we all do. I have been noticing, however, that Jesus has called us to do some rather uncomfortable things.  Here are a few to ponder:

·      Ask – we are told to ask for what is on our hearts, yet that is not always easy to do.  How comfortable is it to ask for a raise, ask a spouse for permission to splurge on a new outfit or tool? There is often some level of uncertainty when we make ourselves vulnerable enough to ask

·      Seek – We are told to look for our purpose and for opportunities to be Jesus for others.  I don’t know about you, but I am not always at peace when I am looking for something!

·      Knock – you know that feeling when you knock on someone’s door, and you are hoping and praying they aren’t wrapped in a towel, and that they are at least acting happy to see you at their doorstep? Some level of discomfort here too!

·      Go – Jesus told his disciples to go out into the world.  That is a rather scary thing to do sometimes. While new journeys can be exciting, there may also be an underlying fear of the unknown. We are called to simply go and the directions are often very sketchy.

Here are some more: agree with your adversary quickly; love your enemies; take no thought for your life; take no thought for tomorrow; follow; preach; heal; cleanse; raise; cast out; take heed; take my yoke; beware; forgive; love… and I haven’t left the book of Matthew yet.

I think you get my point. All of the things Jesus told His followers to do seemed to have this common theme—step out of the comfortable.

In I Peter we are told that we are blessed when we share in the sufferings of Jesus. This is a bit beyond being uncomfortable. I mean, I can be uncomfortable when I’m sweating in the heat of summer, but that is not the same thing as suffering.  I spend a lot of time making sure I have what I need to feel comfy. I pay my gas and electric bills on time so I always have heat and air conditioning. I like hot showers and plenty of ice for my water and covers for my bed. These are things I may often take for granted, but it’s because I don’t want to be uncomfortable. Yet here is Jesus telling me to do all of these things that are outside of my comfort zone. And He takes it further when he talks about partaking in the sufferings of Jesus. There is a big difference between being too hot or cold and being beaten beyond recognition and then crucified!

I know what is on that other side. I have tasted those blessings before, but ooh—it is not easy to push beyond the cozy walls we have created. It is always worth it when we do, but I am not surprised at the company I have when I choose comfort instead.

Saying Thank You

I was feeling a bit discouraged after a book signing event, where I sold only six books.  Three of my titles have been sitting in boxes in my storage area for two years, and I was really hoping to reduce my inventory. It dawned on me that the most important thing I wanted, even more than to be able to recoup the finances I had invested, was to get this message out into the Universe. So, being nudged by the Holy Spirit, I did a book give away. I posted a message on my Facebook business page that I was giving away fifty free books. I even paid $26.00 to boost the posting.  I had only half the response. I mailed out those twenty-five, and then a few days later, posted it again, and paid once more for a day of boosting my post. The response was much better. I ended up giving away fifty-eight books in all. It felt good.  It felt right. It was satisfying to know my message was out there. Then a few thank-yous  and Amazon reviews came in and I had the affirmation I desired that this message was a worthy and relevant one.

            So today, I realized that I only received five thank yous in all.  Five out of fifty-eight is less than 9%. I have a choice. I can feel discouraged once again because so few people took the time to even thank me for mailing them a free book. With postage, the mailer and my cost for the book, I was out $8.66 for each book I sent.  In other words, I spent around $500.00 because I believed that this was not only important, but what God wanted me to do.  I can choose to focus on the money I spent with hardly a hint of gratitude, or, I could be blessed that I had the opportunity to give of myself. I didn’t do this for the thank yous. I did it out of obedience and a much greater, a much broader purpose. Yes it would be nice to hear the accolades and just simply to be thanked. But I will focus instead on the potential that my message about victims of bullying finding their voice has reached a much wider audience.  I really did this more for me than for them.

            My lesson is that while I don’t serve to be thanked, I will also remember how it feels to not be thanked, and will make sure I never forget to say those words.  Even God likes to be thanked, after all!

My Most Embarrassing Moment

When I was fourteen, my parents and I were visiting friends in North Carolina. Our host took us to a private club for dinner.  This place was probably the fanciest spot I had ever experienced, even to this day. The plush carpeting was so thick that with each step, my foot was instantly enveloped in a shroud of luxurious softness. The chairs were huge soft leather thrones that swiveled and rolled with ease around the table.  Wanting to help an awkward adolescent feel a sense of sophistication, as we were seated, our host asked if I had ever tried escargot. I had not, and I wasn’t even sure I knew what that was. Upon hearing this was a dish of garlic and snails, at first I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to have this experience, but when I was assured of how delicious they were, I decided to be adventuresome. I was willing to try new things, and I certainly wanted to appear more adult-like than the gawky teenager that I knew I was.

            The escargot were prepared tableside, and the server did an amazing job of sautéing them with a flair of showmanship. When he placed the dish in front of me, this kind waiter asked if I knew how to remove the meat. I nodded no, and he kindly showed me how to use the tiny fork to pry the rather rubbery snail from its shell. It was dripping in garlic and butter, and really did smell delicious. I actually liked the taste as well.  Our host was quite pleased with himself that he had been the one to introduce me to this refined delicacy. Once I felt confident that I had mastered the art of using this tiny fork, the waiter left me to enjoy my appetizer. The adults continued their conversation, and I was feeling very grown up.

            As I continued to work on my plate of escargot, I got a bit too zealous. The tiny-pronged fork needed a bit more help, so I thought. Using a bit too much force, the snail came out so quickly that it sailed over my shoulder and landed at the table behind me in a lady’s bouffant hair-do. This was 1969, and the style then was to pile hair very high above the scalp. Desperately wanting to remain in my sense of sophistication, I whispered for my mom under my breath.  I pointed to the slimy snail hanging from this poor, unsuspecting woman’s perfectly coiffed hair-do, and wanted to just slide under the table to hide myself.

            My mom whispered back, “She doesn’t even know it’s there. Pretend it didn’t happen.” So that is exactly what I did. I prayed that it would fall off of her hair before she noticed, and wondered if I would ever learn the art of sophistication. This particular attempt was not quite there yet.

            To this day, I often think about that poor lady with the snail hanging from her hair, and I am reminded that life is full of surprises. Growing into adulthood can be a as tricky as eating escargot.

            

Abandoned On My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday.  My daughter and her family had taken me out to celebrate the previous week while I was visiting, so it was just my husband and me for the day. And it was Labor Day. We had a quiet afternoon around the house and then we decided to go out to eat at Texas Roadhouse. I was excited because we haven’t gone out much since the arrival of his new service dog (another story). We opted to not take the dog, because he still is in training.  Expecting to have a sweet, quiet dinner to celebrate together sounded very good.

But just as we were finishing our salads, Jon’s niece called. Her father, Jon’s brother passed away a few weeks ago, and she was struggling with many concerns and issues regarding his estate. The waitress brought our dinners, and I began to eat while Jon listened to his niece spill over with her frustrations and problems with getting things settled and his medical practice closed. I continued to eat alone, while Jon remained on his phone, and I started to get upset.  This was my birthday dinner after all.  I kept eating. He stayed on the phone, until I had completely finished my meal. I was struggling with how to feel compassionate for this sweet girl who just lost her father while being abandoned by my husband during my birthday dinner. As I was forming the words that I planned to say to communicate my frustration, a warm feeling washed over me with a reminder. How many times has God wanted my attention, and I was too distracted to notice? How many times have I told Him that I would get to Him when I finished with whatever I was doing at the time? When I remembered these things, I was no longer upset, but thankful that God never gets frustrated with me when I abandon Him for other distractions that somehow seem so important at the time.

I was very grateful for the reminder, and I so enjoyed Jon’s company while he finished his meal. It was a perfect birthday dinner!