Dunamis

Yesterday, from out of the blue, a friend from high school sent me a private message to pray for her son and daughter-in-law in a new pregnancy. Having already suffered two miscarriages and getting rather up there in years, they were battling genuine fears, hoping that this time, they would finally have the family they dreamed of having. Now the odd thing is that this high school friend and I only recently reconnected on Facebook, not having really spoken to one another in well over forty years. We actually were not really all that close even back then, although we hung around in the same circles prior to her graduating a year ahead of me.

When she messaged me, I sent back a written prayer immediately, and then began praying in the spirit. Intercessory prayer is such a powerful weapon against the adversary, and I know that I have been called on as a Prayer Warrior before.  It is always a joy and a privilege to be asked.

This time, however, when I prayed, I felt the dunamis.  Do you know what that is?

Dunamis is what Jesus felt when the woman with the issue of blood for twelve years  touched the edge of his garment. In Luke 8:45, we are told that Jesus felt someone touch him, and asked who that was. Peter, rather incredulously reminded Jesus that they were in a huge crowd and there were many people pressing into him. But Jesus answered him in vs. 46 saying, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” That word power?  That’s dunamis. That’s the power of miracles.

I felt that last night, and I might add, it is so humbling to know that the God of all creation would use simple me as a conduit of His mighty power.

This morning, I messaged my friend, telling her of my experience when I had prayed that I felt a shift in energy. I told her that I believed this pregnancy was going to result in a healthy new grandbaby. I also asked her why she reached out to me.

Her not surprising reply was that she felt God leading her to do so. I call that a divine nudge. Nothing is more exhilarating than when we get to partner with God Almighty making wrong, right and darkness, light.  I know, too, it is nothing special about me, other than I absolutely love to participate in His Kingdom work.

Dunamis is amazing, and more of a rush than a giant roller-coaster. And just like that ride at the amusement park. I want to go again, and again!

Thanking Him for thinking of me to stand in the gap. Can’t wait for more!

Checklist in my Brain

I’m not much of a list maker, but I have a little checklist in my brain that I have to run through in order to feel like my day had value.  Being retired has not been much like a vacation because I am still working part time as a substitute principal and also as adjunct faculty at our local university. I always have “stuff” to do. I also try to write every day, even if it is just this blog or some posting on Facebook.

Today, I took the afternoon off to watch a movie. When it was over, I started to feel as though I had wasted away the day. I was having trouble visualizing my checklist to see if I had ticked enough boxes.  Lord knows, I sure had closets and drawers to organize and vacuuming to do that did not get done—not to mention weeding the gardens.

Now I am beginning to realize that my measure of the “goodness” of the day has to do with how connected I have felt with my purpose and with my Creator.  I can and do often feel very connected while doing simple things like mowing the lawn, or doing laundry.

Today, I did none of those things.

I was home from my university supervision work by 10:00AM, and then I guess I wasted the rest of the day. Watching a movie. (It was a good one!)

The “doer” part of me started to fill my brain with all of the things I could have or should have done. But instead, I decided to write. It is amazing how much sense-making happens at my keyboard.

It is here, when the flow from my heart comes out in words, I feel aligned and living in my calling.

So, now that I have another entry in my blog (and another chapter of my new book in the making), I feel more satisfied that this day did indeed have some level of value.

But what if, I did nothing all day. Where would the value be then?

Did I spend time in scripture with Papa today? Check. Did I pray today? Check. Did I connect with my spouse today? Yes! Did I talk with my kids today? Two out of three! Did I fix a good dinner? Yum. So, it was a great day. And I am grateful for it!

Making Sense

All of my life, I have been surrounded with logical thinkers.  My mother, and her father before her, set the genetic stage for logic and a bent toward methodical and scientific thinking. Both of my brothers are engineers and my youngest son is now finishing his university program in chemical engineering as well. 

The father of my oldest two children always despised being around people, even though he ran a business. He would come home daily, saying, “I hate people.”  I knew what he meant was that people are illogical, irrational, and exhausting.  I get it. I really do.

Yet, we are told to love. It is that simple. We are called to love people. Period. The fourth chapter of 1 John tells us that we can’t say that we love God if we hate others. This passage also says that we are lying if we say we love God and yet are not acting in love to those around us.  The gist is— how can we love the God we cannot see when we do not love those we do.

I have a rational answer for that. (I can’t help it—it’s in the genes).

It is hard to love those who let us down. We get upset when others do not act according to our expectations. They get angry when we make a mistake. God doesn’t. He forgives us.  They do hurtful things because they put self first. God doesn’t. He always has our best interest in mind, even when we don’t understand. It is always for our good. They will say unkind things and not be true to their word. Yet, God is always true to His word. 

See?  I can show very rationally how it is much easier to love the God we cannot see than those in the flesh around us.

But that is not what we are called to do. We are called to love the way Jesus loved. We are called to love not because of the performance of others, but in spite of.  When we do that, we are able to move forward in Kingdom work.  When we stay stuck in our opinions of how others should be acting, we are always disappointed. Loving someone means loving in spite of how they act or what they say.

This is illogical. It makes no rational sense. When something hurts, we stop doing it. That is logical. Yet, here is our perfect God telling us to do something that goes against everything we understand about preserving our well-being. If we eat something harmful, we throw it up. If we touch something hot, we withdraw our hand to keep from further burning. If the ground is full of sharp objects, we wear shoes. These are sensible things to do. So why does God Almighty ask us to love those who are unlovable?

It’s because He asked us to. It’s really that simple. Because He said so. 

The results, however, are worthy and have a scientific basis. When we harbor anger, we hurt ourselves. Medical professionals tell us that extra hormones are produced during episodes of stress and anger that will, over time, cause considerable damage to our health.  When we love instead of react in anger, we are helping ourselves more than we realize. If you don’t believe me, the internet is full of this information—just a Google search away!

When we are able to walk in obedience and love instead, then God is able to do His amazing work.  This is what forgiveness is all about. Remember the prayer Jesus gave us? Forgive us as we forgive others?

Forgiveness means a decision to love instead of harbor anger and resentment. It means letting go.

So for those logical thinkers out there, reframe this seemingly irrational command to love those who haven’t (in our minds) earned it by viewing it with Jesus-eyes.

When we do, we help ourselves. Instead of hanging on to all of the reasons and justifications to stay angry, hold onto the truth.  Loving others is healing yourself.

Now that just makes perfect sense!

And I Wait

            Waiting. I have been repeatedly told I need to wait. I have never been good at waiting. I really thought it would get easier.

It isn’t.

I am waiting for instructions on what to do next. Being a doer, it is really hard for me to just be. Every fiber of my being expects to be moving forward. Sitting and waiting feels idle and lazy. Yet, when the instructions are to wait, I keep telling myself of the virtue in obedience. It still isn’t getting any easier.

I feel ready. I feel brave enough to try out some new things. I feel confident enough to know that I am called for something important. Yet when I am told to wait, the doubts begin to creep into my thoughts. What if I didn’t hear right? What if there is still more that I need to learn? What if there is someone else more qualified to fulfill the mission? What if I didn’t really hear correctly, and I am supposed to be doing something that I missed?

When I ask, I am told the same. It is not yet time. My impatience is stronger than my ability to be someone that doesn’t feel like me. I know from past experiences, however, that doing it my way doesn’t make anything better. Ever.

Who would have thought that being told to wait would feel like a prison sentence? I asked what I should do while I am waiting. I was told, “Learn to live loved.”

In the very core of my being, I am not really sure how one learns that. I guess there is something to be said for knowing that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be. Yet, when it feels vacant, and almost stagnant, I need reminders that I am loved.

I guess we all do.

So, here I am, still in the waiting room. Ready, filled with anticipation, and learning how to stay content with no forward momentum in sight.

And, I wait.

Standing in the Gap for All

Another horrible tragedy made the news this week. A fourteen-year old boy murdered his stepmother. I found myself looking to find out who it was, hoping it was not a former student of mine when I was a principal in a primary school. As soon as the name was released and I learned that this boy was from a neighboring district instead, I was relieved, giving it no more thought.

This morning, I ran into a friend at our local Y. She is a guidance counselor at that neighboring school, and was sharing her raw pain with the situation and knowing this young man to not have had any previous indication of such behavior.  Suddenly, I noticed a flaw in myself. How easy it was to dismiss the incident when I didn’t think I knew the boy. Yet, as soon as I was made aware that his life touched someone I did know, the tragedy became more real for me again.

I am left wondering why I can so easily move on when I don’t have a personal connection. Pain is pain. Tragedy is real.

I would like to think of myself as someone with empathy, but I am now noticing my reaction is all too often to not allow an emotional connection when it is someone else’s kid. It’s another district’s problem. Is this a protective reaction that I have? Don’t look so I don’t have to feel their pain?

I couldn’t watch the videos of the children dying from the poisonous gas in Syria. I don’t know anyone from Syria, and those videos were too graphic for me.  It was safer to not look.

Somehow my response is more intense when I am personally connected somehow.

I think God is working with me on this. He often wakes me up in the middle of the night to pray for people that I don’t even know. He gives me a first name, and sometimes the situation to pray for. Are my prayers more effective when they are for those I do not know? A woman named Cheryl who was contemplating suicide for her and her unborn baby. A lady named Shannon that believed she was all alone with no one who cared about her. A man who thought God had forgotten him. A child who didn’t want to be hungry anymore.

As I type these situations, my heart is breaking. I do not know these people, and yet, God has asked me to intercede on their behalf.

Yet, I can readily shut off the news, stop the videos on my social media, skim over the articles in the newspapers and not give these horrors any more of my time.

I do not understand intercessory prayer, and yet I am called to participate in it. Why then is my initial reaction to recoil and walk away? Why does God have to wake me up in the middle of the night for prayer? Is it because I can so easily turn Him down in the day?

I am all for knowing my boundaries, but I sure don’t want my protective parts to keep me from the journey I have chosen to walk in His presence.  I will be more aware of this initial response that I have to shy away from tragedy and begin to ask this:

Papa, what do you want me to know about this and how do You want me to pray? Maybe then I will begin to see that my role is not to stand in the gap for just those I know, but for all I am called to serve.

A Double Portion

During my quiet time this morning, I was reading about Elisha. Elijah, the prophet had called Elisha to join him. God tells Elijah in I Kings 19:15 that he was supposed to anoint a new king, Hazael, and almost as an “ oh, by the way,” anoint Elisha who will succeed you as prophet (vs. 16).  Elijah does what he is told, finding Elisha plowing with twelve yoke of oxen. Elijah merely throws his cloak around Elisha, causing him to immediately ask permission to say goodbye to his parents first. Elisha slaughters his oxen, burns all of the plowing equipment to cook the meat, feeds his family, and then comes to Elijah to be his assistant. The Message version says he became, “his right-hand man. (I Kings 19: 21).

Then a bunch of stuff happens, and we don’t hear Elisha’s name again for quite awhile.  I mean a lot of things happened. A King named Ben-Hadad gets his army readied and they attack Samaria. Israel’s King Ahab seems to be a bit of a wuss, telling his folks to do whatever Ben-Hadad says. Ahab had already given over his wives and children and all of his silver and gold (I Kings 20: 7). Now, Ben-Hadad is saying they are coming in to take whatever else they want. Ahab speaks with this council of elders and they tell Ahab to not give in. Lots more takes place over the course of months (it really would make for a good movie!), but now Ahab is depressed and goes home to sulk.

His wife? You might recognize her name. It’s Jezebel. Ahab was upset because he wanted a vineyard that belonged to a guy named Naboth. Ahab offered to exchange the land or to pay for it, but Naboth refused. Ahab sulked over that too. So, Jezebel devises a scheme to help Ahab by forging a decree in his name to stone Naboth. And it happens. Elijah comes along to admonish Ahab for murdering Naboth for a piece of property. Ahab repents and is spared for a while. Really, this stuff is movie material!

Then, chapter 22 of 1 Kings begins by saying three years goes by. Elisha is still not mentioned. But he is Elijah’s right-hand guy, right? So I’m thinking we should assume he is right there with Elijah. All that time.  More stuff happens, and  I would assume Elisha is by Elijah’s side throughout but scripture does not tell us. It is interesting, but not actually the point of this piece today, so I am fast-forwarding through several more kings ruling over Israel to 2Kings, Chapter 2.

This is where Elijah tells Elisha to stay put while he goes to Bethel. Elisha says, “heck no (of course I am paraphrasing), I’m not leaving you!” So they go to Bethel. Other prophets come and tell Elisha that God is going to take Elijah from him. Elisha says he knows so don’t talk about it.

Now Elijah needs to go to Jericho and he tells Elisha to stay at Bethel and wait. Elisha again says that he goes where Elijah goes. At Jericho, again some prophets tell Elisha that God is going to take Elijah away. And again, Elisha says he already knows so quit talking about it.

A third time Elijah plans to go elsewhere. This time to the river Jordan. Again, Elijah says to stay back and yet a third time Elisha says he is going with him. And here is where the coolest part is.  Elijah parts the waters so they can cross the river on dry ground. When they get to the other side, Elijah asks what going away present he could give to Elisha. Without hesitation, Elisha says, “I want double of what you have!”

I am thinking about all of the stuff Elisha has watched Elijah do over the course of who-knows-how-long (some Bible scholar who has way more knowledge than I do could tell you, I’m sure). Elisha has observed, firsthand some truly incredible things. What he wants is even more.

I agree. I want a double portion too. In fact, I want MORE than a double portion. I want to walk in an anointing so that when I enter the room, people are overwhelmingly drawn to the living spirit in me and on me so that the entire atmosphere shifts. Like the people who knew that merely being in Peter’s shadow would heal them—I want that!

Elisha got to watch his mentor, Elijah taken up in a whirlwind into heaven by way of a chariot of fire and horses of fire. I can only imagine the immense awe, along with the pain of losing his beloved master. Elijah’s cloak fell to the ground as his protégé picks it up, saying, “where now is the Lord?” I wonder if it was the same cloak that started this journey for Elisha, causing him to butcher his twelve yoke of oxen to follow the prophet? (Really, wouldn’t this make a great movie?)

Elisha got his gift. He did many miraculous things, all because he saw something amazing in his mentor and friend, wanting what Elijah had and more.

Do you want more, too? I know I sure do!