Letter to the Editor

I submitted this to our local paper, but they would not print it because WHIO is I guess not considered newsworthy:

Dear Editor,

I have read through the comments of many responding to the video from WHIO Channel 7 News that was posted on Facebook regarding  bullying that took place, resulting in a tragic death by suicide of a young girl.  Many of those commenting seem to truly believe that the school district turned a blind eye when they were made aware and did not appropriately handle the bullying situations.

I do not have any first-hand information about the district’s dealings nor the victim or the victim’s family, however, I do know we have a multiple systems failure that will not be resolved until we as a community stop pointing fingers and stop placing blame on everyone else.  We all are to blame and we need to stop expecting the schools to fix all the ills of society. We all must start figuring out ways to shift our culture.

Emile Durkheim was known as the father of sociology and his stance more than a century ago was to reject the notion that education had the ability to transform culture and resolve all that ails society. Instead, Durkheim surmised that education “can be reformed only if society itself is reformed.” His stance was that education “is only the image and reflection of society. It imitates and reproduces the latter…it does not create it” (Durkheim, 1897/1951: 372-373).

Jamie Vollmer (2010), in his book, “Schools Cannot Do It Alone,” cites a long history of blame placed on the schools for not doing their job.  His list goes back to 1879 (pp 92-94). This is not new. But lets play this out.

Say the school was aware that bullying had taken place. Consequences were administered which would most likely result in suspension for up to ten days for the first offense, and possibly an expulsion should things escalate and not improve.  What is the outcome?  Did the bully’s heart change because of a suspension or even an expulsion?  My guess is that most bullies who are suspended for their behaviors feel more affirmation than remorse. I am not saying that school consequences are not necessary.  They send a message to others that these behaviors are not tolerated.  However, it does not typically end the behavior of the bully.

We have a heart problem, not a school problem.  Where were the supports for this precious young lady who, while spared from cancer, did not know she had value and purpose?  Whose job is it to create systems to build a culture of caring and compassion?  Whose job is it create a climate of kindness where mean and hateful behaviors are never tolerated?

I say the blame is with us all.  Who will go with me to make a change?

Linda S. Locke, PhD

(937) 536-5811

www.amazon.com/author/lockel

www.lindaslockephd.com

www.facebook.com/LindaSLockePhD

Durkheim, E. (1897/1951). Suicide, A study in sociology. New York: Free Press.

Vollmer, J. (2010). Schools cannot do it alone: Building public support for America’s

public schools. Fairfield, IA: Enlightenment Press.

Synchronicity Part Two

Synchronicity.   I like the sound of this word.  I really, however, didn’t understand it until recently. I might have thought things happened coincidentally and I might have marveled at how splendidly things fell into place from time to time. When I became a believer, I did give credit to God for orchestrating good things to happen at just the right time, but I never really thought about how His desire to see each of us live out our purpose requires a compilation of moments that have been specially designed to open new avenues that are beyond our wildest imaginations. Who but God could arrange a chance meeting with an acquaintance that would cause a stranger to connect and open new pathways? Who but God could ensure that one is placed in just the right place at just the right time for this connection? Who but God equips us with just the right words spoken in just the right way that stirs the hearts of others to join the path?  Synchronistic moments are astonishing each and every time we are aware of them, and yet there is nothing we really do on our own to make them happen. They are a reminder that this life is bigger than we are, and as we decide to partner with what Papa is doing, they become more vivid and real to us. I want to see synchronicity more and more because it is through these moments that I am reminded how little ole’ me is part of something huge and important and certainly outside of self. We are all created to want to be part of an adventure. Hop on the synchronicity bus with me – it will knock your socks off!

Backwards All Along

I Corinthians 2:9 says:  

“However, as it is written:

‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’--the things God has prepared for those who love him.

Today, this verse struck a different chord with me.  (I just love how scripture does that!). All of my thoughts and plans that I try to make fall so short of the mark.  I’ve been making the plans, and then I've asked God to walk with me in them.  Yet in this verse, we are told that we can’t even conceive of the things that God has prepared for us already.  How then, can I even make plans when I haven’t seen it or heard it or can even imagine it yet?  So, today, I finally understand—God has the plans already prepared for me—plans that haven’t even occurred to me yet. I just need to ask what He has in store so that I might walk with Him in it. I’ve had it backwards all along!

A Dry Spell

A dry spell. There are days that I feel so connected and “in the Spirit,” that I can’t imagine anything getting in my way of living out my purpose. Then there are days, like today, when I keep forgetting my purpose and whose I am. As soon as my thoughts return to Papa, I am immediately convicted and connected. But then a conversation here, an email there, and once again, I am just like the natural soul—in the world and not aligned with Kingdom work.

I could berate and admonish myself, and yet, somehow I don’t see that as necessary. When I ponder how I would ever discipline myself to stay abiding in the vine, I realize that it is really okay to just be human. I truly believe that if Papa needs me to be about His business, He will stir in me longings and a desire to partner with Him that are so vibrant and real that I could not ignore it. But when things are quiet, sometimes I just forget.

I feel sort of like the Hebrews in Exodus. They watched the Red Sea part so that their entire caravan crossed on dry land and then watched the waters close in on the Egyptian army. They watched their daily bread fall from the sky for forty years, and yet they forgot. They forgot that God was there to meet their every need. They forgot their promise to worship no other gods, and instead created a golden calf. They forgot that Moses was a strong leader and longed for a return to the bondage of slavery rather than waiting patiently for him to come back from the mountaintop. I guess I am in good company in my forgetfulness, but I still wish that I didn’t.

Psalm 78: 6-8 says:

so the next generation would know them,
    even the children yet to be born,
    and they in turn would tell their children.
⁷ Then they would put their trust in God
    and would not forget his deeds
    but would keep his commands.
⁸ They would not be like their ancestors—
    a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
    whose spirits were not faithful to him.

Thank you Lord for helping me remember who I am.

Angry Motorcycle Guy

So today as I was leaving an appointment, I made a left turn onto a rather busy street. I saw a motorcycle coming from my right, but he was far enough away that I could easily make my turn in front of him. That is if he had been going only slightly above the speed limit rather than over 20mph faster. When I completed my turn, he purposely sped up to make a point. I was saying out loud, “You are going too fast!”  This guy decided to make it an issue, so he pulled in the lane beside me and was yelling at me. I said again, “You are going too fast,” but he continued to yell.  I started praying for him and quit making eye contact.  He then pulled behind me.  I decided to turn left to go through a drive-thru at a smoothie place, and he again pulled up beside me, all the while screaming, “Why did you try to run me off the road?” He kept yelling this, so I called into the order speaker that a guy was out here yelling at me, and I guess we need a police officer. When he heard that, he sped off, still yelling. 

The adrenalin was certainly flowing freely, but I was caught wondering two things. First, why was this guy so angry? I really did have assured clear distance until he sped up, and even then, it wasn’t even close until he made it that way.  But then he changed the truth into a lie, claiming I actually wanted to hurt him by “running him off the road.” I know this guy is going to go to his grave believing I tried to run him off the road (hopefully he doesn’t go too soon, but with this kind of driving behavior, it would not be surprising).

I am sad for this young man. So much emotion. So much self-induced drama. And for what purpose? Surely there have to be bigger eggs to fry than trying to create a scene with an ole’ retired lady.  I will continue to pray for him, and all of the other drivers that happen to get in his way.

Synchronicity At Its Finest

         Today as I left for my early morning walk, my husband was awake. As he is a night owl, this was quite unusual, so I asked if everything was okay. It wasn’t. He didn’t feel well.  I left anyway for my walk, and was listening to a meditation on my iTunes about being love and living as love.  Near the end of my walk, about two blocks from home, my meditation was interrupted by his ringtone. He had gotten sick.  Jon is blind and he also has a bad hip, so it is hard for him to get down to floor level. He was calling to let me know he had made a bit of a mess.  Trying to remember all that I had just heard on my meditation mp3, I took a few deep breaths, but I wasn’t really prepared for the actual “bit of a mess.”  One entire hour later after much labor-intensive vomit chunk removal, I was amazed at the different thoughts that flew through my head.  What I wanted to do was cry, but there wasn’t anyone else that could do this nasty job. I was thinking that they say “for better or worse” but did they really mean this? Then it dawned on me. It is easy to talk about love. It is easy to throw the word around in some gushy, touchy-feely, good vibe kind of way, but real love?  Real, honest-to-goodness love is cleaning up a grown man’s puke all over the walls and sides of the toilet. Real love means down on your knees pulling up air vents to spray the disinfectant into every nook and cranny. Real love means getting the big chunks off of his clothes before doing the load of rugs and other assorted items that got in the way.

            Now that he is resting with his glass of 7-up beside him and bucket nearby, I am musing at the irony of my iTunes shuffle to choose the very items on my playlist that I needed to hear today more than any other day. I’m guessing it wasn’t a coincidence, but rather an episode of synchronicity that only God can so impeccably orchestrate.