Grateful

     I am sitting at my laptop, staring at an amazing photo of my daughter and her husband and their daughter.  It is taken at a distance, and they look like shadows in a forest with the sun glistening like diamonds through bare trees.  The sky is an azure blue, which makes for a striking contrast.  As I gaze at this photo, tears of gratitude are streaming down my face.  I have no idea how I managed to be so blessed.  I have certainly done nothing to deserve the joy in having such a beautiful family.  Having grown up in a rather dysfunctional home, I longed for knowing the love of kindred souls.  We may not be as close-knit as many other families that I know, but this picture reminds me of God’s goodness.  I pray that my daughter and her family will remember who they are.  I pray that they will be reminded that all of their blessings come from Him.  I pray that they will raise my grandchildren to know Him and want to serve Him.  While these are unanswered prayers at the present, I am ever hopeful that something will stir in their hearts to draw them close to Him once again.

Blushing Bride at 60

            In just a few more days, I will be getting married for the third time (divorced and then widowed).  As they say, “third time’s a charm,” and I am truly believing that in this case there is some real truth in that cliché.   I am hopeful that our rather long engagement (over three years) has prepared me for what I know will be some hurdles.  After all, I have been through this twice before.  I have learned from living for over six decades that one thing that a wife cannot do is change her husband.  I have learned that what makes a relationship blossom is giving heed to the work of genuinely communicating.  I have learned that forgiveness is a most powerful source of healing.  I have learned that a desire to grow together is what holds a marriage most tightly.  I have also learned that without God at the center, few marriages can survive.

            What I love about Jon is his expectation to be a better person tomorrow than he is today.  One cannot hold this value and stick rigidly to strong opinions and always having to be right.  We have known each other for over six years and we both are not the same people that we were when we met.  But more importantly, we both expect to be different in the future as well.  When two people expect to change, then no difference of opinion can become a stronghold.

            Jon is blind.  Choosing to marry a man that cannot run to the store to pick up a forgotten item or to make me coffee in the morning was a huge decision for me.  While Jon is visually impaired he has a deeper understanding than most others I have ever known.  His insights are a source of strength and value that I hold dear.  I can’t imagine any situation without hearing his wisdom and thoughts.  It took me awhile to get used to this hurdle, but there are no longer any doubts -- just pure joy at knowing we get to spend the rest of our lives together.

            I am trying to not stress about wedding details, although having a wedding two days after Christmas can be a source of much busyness.  Out of town family members will be joining us and I pray that I will have time to enjoy their company and not be distracted by other things to do.  This wedding for me has to be on a foundation of being-ness rather than doing-ness. 

            I am grateful for promises of a future.  I am grateful for my adult children who will put aside their personal opinions out of respect for my happiness.  I am especially grateful for knowing that together, Jon and I are better people.  To me – that is the best reason of all for a marriage.