What Would I Give Up?

            What would I give up?

            I have often found myself comparing my talents with that of others.  One would think after all these years, I would get it!  One day, I asked God why none of my talents were so superb that using them would knock the socks off of His people.  His reply?  What are you going to give up?

            The very first time I had an inkling of the innate gifts that I had been given was during the fall of my Senior year of High School when I was chosen to go to Regional Band.  There were about 10 of us in my section (I played alto clarinet, but the section also included the bass and sopranos).  I hadn’t looked at the music until 5 minutes before tryouts for our seating and placing in the State Band.  The first two chairs got to move on to State.  I made third chair.  When the director there asked me how much time I practiced, I sheepishly admitted that I hadn’t.  The first two chair placers looked at me, horrified, and the first chair said, “I practiced at least an hour 3x per week for months!”  I remember so clearly (this WAS 42 years ago!!) thinking, wow, what would I have had to give up to put that much time into practicing?  And wow!  Think what I could have accomplished if I had practiced even a little?  But, I knew then that playing alto clarinet was not what I wanted for my life’s ambition, so I chalked it up to a possibility, and that seemed to be enough at the time.

            Fast forward to now.  I love to sing.  I love to play my guitar and I love even more to be a Praise and Worship leader in our church.  This is by far one of my greatest joys (outside of my grandchild, of course).  But I am not a big name with CD’s that others are clamoring to purchase.  I don’t get to travel outside of the walls of our small church to lead enormous groups of people into Hillsong,-style worship.  I get mad at myself for not putting in more time to build my skills.  But I am blessed nonetheless.

            I love my job as a Principal.  I have been an Elementary Principal now for twenty years.  Two decades.  I think I do pretty well.  But I will never be Principal of the Year (although I WAS nominated once!)  What would it take to receive that honor?  What would I have to give up to get there?

            I love children.  They have always been my passion.  I am a kid-magnet.  Children come to me wherever I am.  I think they can feel my kid-friendly energy and they know that I am safe.  I am love to them.  Pure joy for me.  I think I have the skills to be a top-notch children’s expert.  But what would it take to get there?

            I love to write.  I actually just finished my third children’s book and I have laid out an enormous amount of money for a real publisher for the first two.  I might be on to something there, but could writing be my livelihood?  What would it take?  What would I have to give up?

            I’m good with numbers and accounting.  My parents owned a clothing store, and I worked in accounts receivable all through High School and College breaks.  My Mom told me that I had a flair for bookkeeping.  I hated it!  What good is a flair for something if you don’t enjoy it?  But it was nice to know I could have done something with those skills  -- if I had wanted to.

            I love to bake and I really love to try my hand at cake-decorating.  I am just pitiful at it, and while a class to learn how to make those roses and basket weaves is certainly on my bucket list, I won’t be opening a bakery any time soon!  I was honored that my middle son begged me to make his wedding cake this fall.  Truly makes a Mama’s heart sing to know how love covers all – even when the icing doesn’t!  I wish I could say yes, but what would I have to give up to make it as perfect as I would want it?

            I love to speak to women about God and His amazing love and desire to be our Abba – our Daddy.  When I went to Women of Faith events, I felt in my heart –I  could do that!  I have what it takes.  I have overcome great heartaches and pain and used devastating life events to mould me into something worth sharing with others.  I know I will never be invited to stand on that stage, because what would I need to give up to get there?

            So here I am, often feeling like I could really do something to make my life have such purpose that everyone would know it. 

Or, ---

 I can be EVER so grateful that God has gifted me in so many amazing ways -- not because of me, but because of HIM!    I know now that I really don’t want to give up any of them to favor one over the rest.  I will be content to let others take the stage and the limelight because I am not going to give up any of my gifts.  Not a single one!  I am content to be in the middle all the way.

I will, however, learn how to make those perfect icing roses!