Being or Doing

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Nothing is on my calendar for today.  That in of itself is unusual.  I have many things on my to-do list, and while my mind is telling me to tackle one of those tasks, my weary body is saying no.  The war in my brain is causing me some anxiety.  I don’t want to be lazy.  There are things to be done and I have the time to do them today.  Yet, I am tired, and my back aches from moving a million boxes last week.  I could push myself and just get started.  Or I could sit here and just ponder at the keyboard.  Which of course is exactly what I am doing.

It is hard to focus on what God wants when my mind is at war with itself.  I want to be a human being today and not a human doing.  Yet there is time today to get so much accomplished, if I would just get started.  Doing.

Here I sit, contemplating and trying to be still and know that He is God.  I even have to work hard at being still.  My prayer for today is that God will meet me in my quandary and fill me.  Some days we just need to regroup.  So, I will reframe my thinking (still thinking about that one from yesterday), and I will see myself not as lazy, but rather meeting God in the stillness and quiet.  It is unusual for me --- definitely out of my comfort zone.  But here am I, Lord.  Waiting and still.  I know it doesn’t happen often, so I am expecting more than usual in the quiet.  Being.