A Dry Spell

A dry spell. There are days that I feel so connected and “in the Spirit,” that I can’t imagine anything getting in my way of living out my purpose. Then there are days, like today, when I keep forgetting my purpose and whose I am. As soon as my thoughts return to Papa, I am immediately convicted and connected. But then a conversation here, an email there, and once again, I am just like the natural soul—in the world and not aligned with Kingdom work.

I could berate and admonish myself, and yet, somehow I don’t see that as necessary. When I ponder how I would ever discipline myself to stay abiding in the vine, I realize that it is really okay to just be human. I truly believe that if Papa needs me to be about His business, He will stir in me longings and a desire to partner with Him that are so vibrant and real that I could not ignore it. But when things are quiet, sometimes I just forget.

I feel sort of like the Hebrews in Exodus. They watched the Red Sea part so that their entire caravan crossed on dry land and then watched the waters close in on the Egyptian army. They watched their daily bread fall from the sky for forty years, and yet they forgot. They forgot that God was there to meet their every need. They forgot their promise to worship no other gods, and instead created a golden calf. They forgot that Moses was a strong leader and longed for a return to the bondage of slavery rather than waiting patiently for him to come back from the mountaintop. I guess I am in good company in my forgetfulness, but I still wish that I didn’t.

Psalm 78: 6-8 says:

so the next generation would know them,
    even the children yet to be born,
    and they in turn would tell their children.
⁷ Then they would put their trust in God
    and would not forget his deeds
    but would keep his commands.
⁸ They would not be like their ancestors—
    a stubborn and rebellious generation,
whose hearts were not loyal to God,
    whose spirits were not faithful to him.

Thank you Lord for helping me remember who I am.