Being on Time

Being on Time

My family has a generations-long history of being neurotically early for everything. Over the years, I have tried so hard to understand why some people are always late. I know that late people don’t mean to be disrespectful by making others wait for them—often many minutes past the appointed time. It is compounded by the fact that my neurotic earliness means, I have actually been waiting at least 10 minutes prior to the agreed upon time. So, when Miss Lateness is 15 minutes late, I have now actually been waiting for 25 minutes.

My parents would get quite agitated when people didn’t show up when they said they would. It seemed to become a matter of integrity. The person said they would be there at a particular time, and then they weren’t. If their word didn’t stand in regard to timeliness, would it elsewhere?

There were always seemingly valid excuses—unexpected traffic; last minute phone call; urgent family matter that took longer than expected. Certainly all legitimate reasons.

But why is that my family manages to still show up early. We also have similar things come up. That’s life. Stuff happens. Indeed, it always does!

In a way, it kind of is a matter of integrity. When I say I am going to be there at an appointed time, I make sure I plan ahead to be able to do so.  Sometimes, I am sitting in a parking lot for 15-20 minutes because I allowed more than ample time to get lost or deal with traffic.

Of course, there have been times where I’ve had to call or text to say that something interfered with my promptness, but when I do, it is always with an enormous amount of guilt and apology. It’s as though my very core essence is at stake. My word is my word, and when I say I will be there at a certain time, there is no small amount of angst if something gets in the way of being where I said I would and when.

Today, our dog had a vet appointment. In my head, I remembered it to be at 10:30, but as I was getting my coat on to leave (with plenty of extra time, so I thought), I saw on the calendar that the appointment was actually at 10:15.  There was no way I would be on time, even if there was no extra traffic along the way.

While I’m driving, I have Siri look up the vet’s phone number so I could call and let them know that I was going to be late. They were very kind, and told me not to worry, but when I showed up all of 7 minutes past the appointed time, I was greatly apologetic. The receptionist assured me it was not a problem, but to me it was. It really is a matter of being true to my word. I agreed to a 10:15 appointment. I should be there when I said I would be.

Tonight, Jon was going with a friend to an event out of town. They are on a prayer team and were told to arrive at 6:00 PM.  The friend said he would be there at 5:30 to pick him up. Since Jon is blind, it is easier for him to wait at the end of our sidewalk since he can then hear when the car is there for him. He went outside at 5:25 to wait. At 5:40, the friend texted and said he was just leaving and would be there shortly. He arrived at 5:50. There is no way they will be at this venue by 6:00. Jon is off the hook, since he is at the mercy of the driver. But, I was so grateful that I wasn’t joining them since I would have been having heart palpitations at the thought of being so late. I would not have been able to be of any value as an effective member of that prayer team after being agitated to that degree of lateness!

Most of my friends are not at all concerned about being on-time. I am learning to find the extra measure of grace to let it go, but it’s hard when I am waiting, and watching the clock.

One of my good, always late-friends often sends research about how late people are usually highly intelligent but just have trouble planning how long it takes them to get ready.

I have trouble with this theory because after the second or third or fifteenth time the person Is late, then how hard is it to add those extra minutes into the allotted planning time? If I think it will take me a half an hour to get ready, remembering that I am usually fifteen minutes late, I will therefore I start forty-five minutes before.  It isn’t rocket science!

I passed along the always-early genes to all of my children, and they will most likely pass them along to their children as well.  I will be teaching my grandchildren that the gift of being on time is respectful and an outward sign of valuing others and their time as well.

I will also pass along how to look for other gems in their always-late friends so that it is easy to forgive and offer grace while standing around waiting for those who have no clue what it means to be on time.